From Lessons to Love Letters
Before my self-discovery or some would call it my recovery..... I didn't know that you could reenact the relationships you had as a child. I went on searching, loving and giving but never truly;
"Existing or Being"
I never learned how to do it... I never got lessons on being. I learned how to be so many things, but I never sat and mastered the art of existing. However, at 26 I think I have a better understanding of it. With practice, I learned that if I want to see myself in truth-- I should take a glimpse at the people I love and how I love them.
So my self-discovery lead me to--- loving correctly.
My love sounds a little like this.
Thank you for giving to me from the holes in your heart. Thank you for loving me "the only way you knew how" because now I get the chance to love you fully. At first, I felt ripped off because all love to me was attached to extreme levels of pain and trauma but with some understanding and insight-- I know why that it is. I understand all the roles you had to play to get me to be where I am today.
I love you for being my mother and my father all at once.
I love you for being my stepfather and my father all at once.
I love you for being my grandparents and my parents all at once.
I love you for being my uncle and my brother all at once.
I love you for being my brothers and my children all at once
I love you for being my best friend and my sister all at once.
I love you for being my boyfriend, lover, best friend, brother, dad, and grandfather all at once.
I love you for being all the things-- I needed you to be and still being human.
I love you for teaching me that love is imperfect.
SIMPLY FOR BEING
When I found out about healthy love---I was frightened at the ways I loved and how I let myself be loved. However, with gratitude and thanks, I understand myself, and I know the parts of me that are of you. With all your love I have discovered myself.
I have reached my healing.... and now I can love me in all the ways I felt were missing. I can, more importantly, give you love from my highest self willingly. With authentic love, we can all reach true intimacy.
You exist so I love your being.
From lessons to love letters-- thank you for loving me with all your being.
I now can stop this war and be at peace with the love you all give me.